Where I’m At

“I’m aware that there is a bigger, far more complicated world out there than I’d ever realized, and… I’ve glimpsed it only fleetingly, peripherally. I’ve sensed the vast expanse of my own ignorance now. I feel antsy and constricted and a deep, almost sexual yearning for velocity, for some sort of raw, transcendent experience that I cannot even begin to articulate.”
― Susan Jane Gilman

Something about the fall weather in DC is giving me the travel bug. Maybe because it’s flu season (eh! eh!) or maybe it’s the gusty winds of change (EH! EH!). Whatever it is, my soul is stirring for change. I’ve been working a job I don’t particularly care for* and living the rather insular life of a recent college grad who opted to live in the suburbs to save on rent. I’ve been wrestling with the idea of leaving my job recently for a multitude of reasons, but today, maybe late yesterday, my choice became clear. Obvious, even.

So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to draw a huge f***ing line between where I’m at and where I’m headed. I’m going to just f***ing go for it. I’m twenty-f***ing-two, and if not now, when! (This is sounding very triumphant in my head. Just try to read it to yourself the way I’m thinking it).

So, here’s where I am (spoiler alert: if you’re allergic to whining, skip ahead). I am in affordable housing in the goddamn suburbs of Maryland. I am in a job I can’t stand with people I hope to never see again. I’m in limbo between choosing a career and just living my life (essentially, every one of my long term plans is extremely hypothetical). I’m exhausted from being sad about my job. I’m (feeling) stuck in a job and a place that are the opposite of inspiring.

My plan is to go somewhere. I’m not quite ready to commit to where, but some very select people might have a faint idea. I’m going to start this whole “post-grad real-world” thing over again, and on my own terms. I’m going because I am confident it is the best thing for me right now.

Can’t wait to get down to business and start planning the details (more to come)!

xoxo,

Alexis

 

*I’m trying this new-fangled “understatement” thing. Just testing it out, trying it on for size..

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