Surprise! It’s 2018. Just a hop, skip, and a jump from my most recent post, 1.5 years ago. Casual. Hop, skip, jump.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything here, and I’m secretly hoping that everyone who once followed this blog (read: 5 people tops) have moved on with their lives and won’t ever see this.
I’m back for very practical reasons- like a kid moping home after runaway hopes get dashed- I’m back because writing out my new years resolutions by hand seems too daunting. So there it is, the technological reality of 2018. Scary. Hi-tech. Foreign to my parents. Ripe with lazy possibility.
Some context: I’m writing this from a high-top table in the Starbucks in Caldwell, NJ. It’s about 9 degrees outside. Some poppy boyband is blasting in my ears. I just watched a group of pimply middle schoolers spend ten minutes arranging their Frappacinos in the perfect line, then take endless photos at various angles. There’s another group of middle school girls behind me talking about Theresa, the Real NJ Housewife who went to jail last year. Donald Trump is president. I’m ten pounds over my goal weight. It’s really f***ing cold. Sigh. It’s not the world I would have picked, but here we are, let’s make the best of it.
Last year I didn’t set specific resolutions, but I still made “progress”. It’s endless, this pursuit of progress! When do I get to say, “I earned that”, stick it on the fridge with a magnet, and move on with my life?
A “Greatest Hits” of 2017:
- I finished two semester of graduate school at Montclair with a 4.0 GPA
- I moved in with David
- I wowed at my summer internship and landed a job offer
- I presented my research at a national psychology conference
- I improved my relationship with my mom and sister
- David and I strengthened our relationship to new levels, and had some important conversations
- I made a commitment to run a half marathon, and raised $1,500 for Crohns and Colitis research
- I took a course at Columbia University
- I applied to 12 doctoral programs
- I strengthened my relationship with Katie (and saw Laura for the first time in forever!)
- I visited Ilana in New Haven, which I had low-key been promising to do since 2010
- I found a doctor I gel with and started an important medication to manage my chronic disease*
I think this was probably one of the most influential actions I took this year, but for some reason it was the last one I thought of. I think I typically keep Crohn’s as far from my conscious experience as possible.
This year, I hope to improve my health by maintaining a more predictable routine with food, medicine, and sleep. I want run more and more, and try fencing again. I want to run a half marathon, and some 5ks. I want to feel more in control of my health, but I also want to practice more self compassion for the things I can’t control.
I want to practice conscious decision making, but also go with my gut more. I want to do one thing at a time. Relax a little. Trust that some things only fall into place when you give them space.
I want to build more relationships this year, and attend to the ones I have. I want to travel with my mom, with my friends, and with David. I want to take Ziggy on infinitely more walks this year.
I want to make money this year. I want to maintain my investments and learn more about money management. I want to feel more secure in my career, and mark a clearer and more efficient path to financial success.
Figuring out the ‘how’ is always harder than the ‘what’. But what the hey, I have a whole year.